


Alone

by yukiawison



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Awkwardness, F/F, M/M, brotp conman, self harm mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 15:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11671857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: Late at night, when the moonlight came in through the window he'd lift his wrist toward the ceiling and squint at the letters in the dark. He couldn't really see much but the blur of his pale arm without his glasses but he knew the words were there.In which Jared works at a tattoo parlor and can't stop staring at the flower shop guy across the street.





	Alone

Sometimes in the morning when the light was just right, the bouquets in front of the flower shop across the street seemed to glow: deep golds and oranges mixed with the reds and purples and whites of the flower petals. It was better than a normal sunrise with all the added colors. Jared got to work too early often: he always left his apartment with time to get coffee and the occasional pastry at the shop on the way and he liked being able to walk slowly and let rushed looking people with briefcases or sleep clouded eyes cut ahead of him in line.  

He liked unlocking the shop in the morning and going through all of the appointments before Connor or Zoe or any of the other artists got there to bother him. He also liked seeing the flower guy open up across the street at the same time. He had messy hair and freckles and looked stupidly excited arranging flowers in big bins and dusting pollen off of his apron. He was kind of cute (of course Jared would never admit this to Connor or Zoe, both of whom pestered him relentlessly whenever they thought he had a crush) but Jared was too cowardly to make a move besides the no doubt awkward smiles he directed his way when they happened to leave work at the same time. 

He needed a reason to buy flowers. 

"Hell Kleinman, what time did you get in?" A very tired looking Connor Murphy, complete with his signature 'I didn't have time to wash my hair, sue me' bun, extra large coffee (likely his second of the day), and black and paint stained wardrobe, entered. 

"8:15. Are you okay man? You look a little worse for wear, more so than usual I mean," he smirked. 

"Fuck off. I had a late night but I should be good after this coffee. My guy's not coming in until 2:30 right?"

Jared glanced at the day's schedule and nodded. "I gave him all the paperwork when he was here last time so he should be good to go, provided he likes whatever it is you came up with."

"Oh he'll like it," Connor said with a wry smile. He pulled a sketchbook out of his messenger bag and presented him with an intricate design of waves and an anchor, several names curled in the deep blues like sea creatures. It was the design he'd been commissioned to make. "He gave me kind of a free reign." Connor Murphy had a flair for design that complimented his steady hand when tattooing people. His portfolio included many pieces that were complicatedly simple. 

"Impressive," he replied sincerely. 

Connor leaned his elbows on the counter, directly over Jared's color coded calendar. "When are you going to let me give you some more ink Kleinman? 

"We've discussed this."

"Sure we have," he said with an eye roll. "Alright, it's my turn to clean the bathroom so that's what I'll be doing if anyone needs me." He sauntered into the back. 

The flower shop guy was out in front of the store again. He was talking to a customer and Jared leaned his head on his palm, and stared at him. He wished he knew his name. 

"Are you staring at him again?" 

Jared jumped. "I'm not staring. Staring at who? I don't stare at people. I don't know what you're talking about Zoe." She had come in the front door when he was distracted and was now raising her eyebrows at him critically. 

"You should just talk to him you know? He seems nice."

"It's not a big deal Zo," he said, face going red despite himself. "I don't even know him."

Zoe sighed. "That's my point. You always do this dude. You get crushes on strangers or friends of friends and you stare and blush and get awkward about it but you never do anything." 

Because you're a coward. Because you don't deserve it. His brain filled in the mean, insecure things it always did. She was right. Zoe was usually right about him. 

"Maybe I just don't want a relationship. Have you ever thought about that?" he said defensively. 

"Yeah I have and I know it's not true."

He frowned and looked away, back down at the schedule. She had three appointments for today and usually took care of the walk ins. Though not as design minded as her brother, Zoe Murphy was a skilled and efficient tattoo artist. Jared tended to schedule first timers with her because she was good at easing fears and communicating what she was doing as she did it. (He made a point to give nervous clients to anyone but Connor.)

"Hey." Zoe reached out. She turned his hand over and traced the lined tattooed on his wrist. "We've all got each other remember?" She turned her wrist to display the tattoo that matched his: NOT ALONE in black print. Zoe, Connor, and Jared all had the same words. They got them a year ago, shortly after Connor was hired. He'd been up and down in the years before then, dropping out of college his sophomore year and working solitary odd jobs to get by. When Connor's mental health got bad his physical health quickly followed. He smoked instead of slept and forgot to eat. He isolated himself, dodging Jared's calls and disappearing whenever Zoe tried to visit him. After a particularly low point (he lost his job at a gas station, started self-harming again, and was MIA for two terrifying days) He showed up at Jared's apartment looking like a ghost and begged him for help. 

"I can't go to Zoe," he'd said. "Zoe dealt with me all through high school I can't do this in front of her again. I'm just spiraling and I know it and I can't stop." Jared remembered that day too vividly. His best friend (their relationship had always been a little bumpy but Connor was his best friend) sobbing on his doorstep, looking starved and like he was missing a week's worth of sleep, at his lowest since high school wasn't something he could ever forget. 

But with time and rest and proper medication and the wonderful, loving, brave Zoe Murphy to set her brother straight on a few things: "You can't disappear like that. You just can't. And you can't hide from me either. I love you and I'm always going to be here whether you like it or not" things got better again. And in an odd turn of events the Murphy siblings fulfilled a bizarre childhood dream of becoming certified tattoo artists (they were fucking weird kids) and Connor started full time at the parlor when Zoe was hired part time to make money while she finished grad school. They got the tattoos to remind each other. Late at night, when the moonlight came in through the window he'd lift his wrist toward the ceiling and squint at the letters in the dark. He couldn't really see much but the blur of his pale arm without his glasses but he knew the words were there. 

The day passed quickly. The morning appointments went on without issue and by lunch Jared was nearly out of work to do. 

"Hey can you do me a favor when you go on your lunch break?" Zoe had since tied her hair up into a messy bun, indicating that she had a lot of work to do. He'd noticed her studying in between appointments. 

"Sure, what do you need?" 

"Alana's parents are coming over for dinner tonight. It's kind of a big deal y'know?"

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" He exclaimed. Zoe and Alana had been dating for nearly a year and she hadn't met her parents. Alana had met the rest of the Murphys, an extremely awkward affair by Zoe's reports, but this was new. 

"I don't know," she said with a wave of her hand. "I didn't want to drag it out. But can you grab me a bouquet from across the street? My 1 o'clock is coming in early so I'll be able to leave faster."

"I can do that...uh, yeah. I can do that but why didn't you ask Connor?" He felt his face getting red again. 

She rolled her eyes. "Yes I think you should talk to flower guy but that's not why I'm asking you. I don't trust my brother to buy me things anymore."

"Hey!" Connor called from the next room. 

"Con I asked you to get eggs and milk and you came home with 4 bags of Cheetos and nail polish remover."

"The Cheetos were on sale. I got distracted!"

"Please Jared?" 

"Yeah, sure. I'll get you your flowers but I'm not going to talk to him unless I have a perfect opportunity."

"It's not a fairy tale Kleinman!" Connor called. 

"It's not polite to eavesdrop Murphy!"

"Deal," Zoe said. "I don't have a preference on flowers. It might be advantageous to ask an employee for help."

"Don't push it."

He fixed his collar and cleaned his glasses in the bathroom before he left. He could hear the buzz of a needle as he stared at himself in the mirror and debated switching his watch to his other wrist to cover up his tattoo. He wasn't ashamed of it or anything. In fact, it made him feel stronger. It made him feel like he belonged. But he got nervous. People figured out he worked at a tattoo parlor and got judge-y. They looked at the ink at his wrist and the tilt of their eyebrows asked when he'd get a real job. He fought back the urge and left the bathroom. He could do this. All he had to do was buy flowers. It was just a crush. It wasn't a big deal. 

The bell on the door dinged when he walked in and the guy looked up. Fuck. He felt his face go red as the guy smiled. "Welcome, I'm Evan. L-let me know if you have any questions."

Evan...he had a slight stutter but the flowers he was arranging looked unified and his hands didn't shake. 

"Thanks," he replied, looking away quickly. He scanned the rows of flowers and tried not to look completely awkward. "Do you uh..." he came closer to the counter where Evan was.  "I'm looking for a bouquet to impress a girlfriend's parents."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Oh, no...not my girlfriend I'm sorry that phrasing was weird. I'm getting flowers for my friend. She's meeting her girlfriend's parents tonight and she's too busy to pick a bouquet so I'm uh...I'm doing it. I don't have a girlfriend though. I'm gay. And I'm single and I need to stop talking oh my god."

Evan laughed. "You're fine. You work at the tattoo place across the street right? I think I've seen you over there." It might have been his imagination but he thought Evan sounded kind of eager. 

"Yeah, I do. So does my friend."

"Are you a tattoo artist?"

"Oh god no." Jared crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously. "I make the schedules and balance the books and shit. I wish I was talented like that." 

Evan's shoulders relaxed a fraction. "Still, it must be a cool place to work."

"It is," he said. "I uh..." He debated for approximately 5 seconds. "I have a tattoo though," he said, turning his wrist to Evan. The other man leaned over the counter to get a look, small smile forming on his lips. Zoe was right, he was as nice as he was cute. 

"I love that! I've always w-wanted to get a tattoo but I'm s-scared about it hurting or I don't know, freaking out when they do it and moving too much so the whole thing gets messed up. Is that the only one you have?" 

"Yeah, it was a friend thing. We all got them together. It was pretty special."

"I'm going to do it one d-day." Evan blushed furiously, determinedly. 

"You should. My friend Zoe could do one for you. She's great."

There was a beat before Evan startled. "I'm sorry. You need help and I work here I shouldn’t b-be t-talking your ear off."

"You're good dude. I just need a nice bouquet." He eyed the arrangement he was working on. "Like that one. Can I have that one?"

"Of course you can." Evan smiled again and Jared couldn't feel his face.

"I'll wrap it up for you in just a second." He placed and replaced a few more flowers in the arrangement. It was bright, with peonies and hyacinth and hydrangeas. 

"Thanks." God he should say something. It was dumb to just stay silent. It was dumb to let the opportunity slip away. It was dumb...

"Hey, um. C-can I ask your n-name?" He looked up at Evan. 

"Jared. I'm Jared."

"Jared," Evan repeated. "Would it be totally uncomfortable if I asked for y-your number?"

"Like the number to the shop?"

"N-no like your cell number. So I could ask y-you out."

"Oh. No that wouldn't be uncomfortable. I mean...I'm making things uncomfortable now but I can definitely give you my number."

"Okay. C-cool. I'll wrap this up and you can um..." he grabbed a post it and pen and handed them to Jared. "Do that."

"Okay, I will." He tried not to smile too much. He'd been around so many hard and edgy people working where he did. It made him feel out of place sometimes. But Evan wasn't edgy. Evan was soft and gentle with flowers and speech. Maybe he wouldn't feel out of place with him. 

"Here you go," Evan chirped, handing him the bouquet and turning to the register to ring it up. "I hope I see you around Jared." He added after Jared had handed him the money and post it. 

"Yeah. I hope so too."

He didn't feel alone.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a tumblr request! (I'm @colonel-carter.)


End file.
